7.01.2010

Letter Day 7.

Now this ones a tough one .....

To my ex boyfriend : Tony

I cant understand why you loved me so much ; when all I did was hurt you. But I want to thank you for being there at my TOUGHEST time in life. I was fresh out of a long ass exhausting dramatic relationship ; and as a friend in the beginning you helped me through it. I remember laying in bed just talking about all the hurtful things he did and said to me & I would cry on your shoulder. You would tell me how sooner or later I will be fine and that I was an amazing person with so much in store. You made me feel beautiful and wanted ; at the time when I felt less of a woman. Through it all we had such a great friendship - you were my boyfriend for just a week or two ; but you were my BESTFRIEND for two years. We would tell everyone how we were only bestfriends ; and people would laugh - like yeah right. I sometimes did feel like I was leading you on ; and I am sorry if I did - but your company was so hard to stay away from. You took my mind off him ; off all the heartbreak. When I was with you ; I didnt want him anymore - and that felt GREAT. Not because I wanted a relationship with you ; but because I knew I had you to confide in ; or when I needed a helping hand. You really loved me unconditionally - as a friend I did too. I remember all the late nights we used to go drive to different places to eat like fat asses; lol. You used to call me your " beautiful piece of shit " haha. After all the heartbreak I put you through ; you knew deep down my intentions were never ever harmful. I am lucky to still say that I have a great friend in you --- we may not be bestfriends ; but I know you care for me just like I care for you. Time passes ; but you never forget about me - and I appreciate your random calls; texts; visits. We are both in new relationships now && it is a beautiful thing that we can both respect that ; and still be there as friends for eachother. Not everyone can do that with their exs ; and I just got lucky. Your such a great person; with a big heart ( as many times as you say now that your coldhearted - womp womp lol ) I know your really not.....remember I was the one you called " ice box ". You helped the process of warming it up - and I thank you times a million. I will always have tons of love for you tony toca ;)

xoxo
Jessica

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