inspiration.

"Id always fall for guys I wanted to save. For the first time; I fell in love with someone who saved me" - Jessica Simpson.




So I know a lot of people dont really like her, due to the way she was on Newlyweds. But I just love her because she is real , and she doesnt hold anything back. She does not feel the need to act fake , or scared to look dumb. I love her though a lot more for the article I read about her in my Cosmo. The saying above her picture makes a lot of sense, and its something im going to be keeping in mind when I meet someone. I have always been with people that I felt I had to save, or make a better person. Ive always had to be the one that would listen to the long conversations of things they were dealing with, and how I was going to help them. I never had someone who made ME a better person, who was there to listen to all my issues, and help me work through them. Sure its great to want to help people out & save guys ...but that's why they got mothers right? LOL. Finally I want someone to save me, my wonderwall ♥

love takes courage.

I have this really BAD habit of thinking ...WAYYYYYY too much , over analyze things to a very big extent. I hate it and I try not to but its tough when I'm so used to it. SO I am officially back on the "dating scene" LOL. Ive been going on a couple "dates" with guys that I guess you can say I have a somewhat interest in. I'm just getting to know them a little better. I'm aiming for someone different than my usual ...but there are many that I can talk to and just think to myself " damn this seems so familiar" LOL. So now that I'm back on the dating scene, I caught myself re-reading my books " Hes just not that into you " and also " Why men love bitches ". =/ I honestly don't know if its a good thing or bad , like I wanted to start reading them again because I have had issues before where I have given myself to a guy way to easily and way too quickly. Most guys take my kindness, as weakness. Ive toughened up a lot .....maybe way too much. I give off a " I don't need you "attitude...and trust me they notice it. I hear it a lot, like DAMN jess why are you so mean? Why did you have to say it like that? Its hard for me to give myself to someone now...I hate looking or sounding like a go hard , so I will not call the guy till he calls me, I will not initiate plans till he says he wants to see me. I then find myself thinking is this part of me playing " the game"? I hate playing games , i hate having to figure out if the person likes you or if its going to become something more....but am I adding to that? I want to get right to the point , I don't want to waste my time wondering ..hmm does that mean he likes me ...or he didn't call maybe he doesn't like me anymore. I feel like I no longer have the patience for it. If I let go, and just show him that I'm feeling him, call him whenever I feel like it ...How will I know that he wont think I'm going hard? I need to learn to care; I think I need to let myself go , and show my feelings more. Maybe it did not work out with every other guy ...but who knows if these will be a lot different. If I don't want him playing games with me , then I guess I shouldn't play them with him either right?

Reminds me of the quote from the movie He's just not that into you - "I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are. " _ Gigi.

Wise Words for my Females :]

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then fck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. [Oh yes] He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his, always. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. & ugh, if he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone ..complimentary... not supplementary... Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miSs you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for ..granted... Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar, but get to know others. Cheating's horrible, karmas worse. it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

liars suck.

I haven't posted in a while ; so sorry guys for that. But QUESTION : Why do men find it hard to tell the truth? WHY must they lie , even about the smallest things. Like what harm is it going to be to tell the truth? So your not going to get ass; and you'll probably get dumped ...LOL , but why not just be a man about things? I got to thinking about a relationship I was in last summer. This guy was a sweetheart; he did just about anything I would want a boyfriend to do. Brang me food late at night; took me to work; introduced me to his family; woke me up every morning with a " good morning babe; have a nice day today" ; spent hours on the phone with me when he was not able to see me ..heck he did it all. I felt like the most special girl in the world & I thought my boyfriend was the SHIT. Till one night --- I receive a message from some chick on myspace saying " Why did you change my boyfriends myspace ; he told me you hacked on to his page and put yourself on his top and uploaded old pictures of you and him...stop being a physco bitch and hop off my man " I was dumbfounded like ARE YOU SERIOUS? I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe shes fucking physcotic and wants to start shit so we can break up right? WRONG. I tell him what I received without spazzing out , to think hed explain it to me....but um he said he was too busy at the moment to talk about it. why was he busy? Because he was out with his boys at a lounge. REALLY? lol.. when all the while when we were together I would ask him " ohh; so that girl that commented you that's just your homegirl? " --yeah baby i dont even chill with her anymore though. BULLSHIT, it was his "girlfriend number two" . THEN I also come to find out he was still talking to his ex on the side; why ? because she got a message from the same chick too; but luckily she was more mature then physco bitch. HONESTLY, I dont understand why all the lies; and all the games. I used to mess with him and be like listen we can have an open relationship if you'd like cus I know its been a while since you been in one. JUST to see what he would say; but really that was his get out of jail free card RIGHT THERE. Lol. I dont know -- the funniest thing about the situation is he one day after a while requested me on facebook, and I realize he even lied to me about his last name? LMAO. I was dying of laughter when I seen that one. During our relationship he lied about living alone ( Which he knew Id find out when I met his parents? IDK) and he lied about his job ( Which I found out about when he asked me to PICK HIM UP from work one day? ) I really dont understand why men lie at all. It urks me that you can think your in this amazing relationship; and he truly cares and then you come to find out it was all a bullshit joke.

when do men mature ?

I used to have this thing with dating younger guys, I don't know why ...but I felt they were more into having a relationship. I guess since they were new to it and what not. It turned out though that after being together for a few months they would realize " damn I'm too young, fuck that " LOL , which I completely understand. But then when I started dating dudes around the ages of 23-25 it was the same shit. All they want to do is party, get drunk, and chase after as many girls as they can ... like there in competition with there boys. So its like when do they mature? When is the right age when a man will finally wake up and be like " HMM, maybe I should take a girl seriously ". Sadly many men think the same so when they are around a whole bunch of guy friends that think that way they get sucked into thinking that way also. I have a few guys that i've met that were interested in the idea of being in a committed relationship, then have there minds changed because it was not " the cool thing " and start thinking that just because they get into a relationship there social life is over. Honestly I wish guys knew how simple us girls are. I want a relationship right? But I would never drop my life for a man; so I wouldn't expect him to either. Go out clubbing with your boys, have guy nights, talk to your home girls, don't worry you DON'T have to call me every single minute of your life. I'm not the kind of girl that asks for much out of a boyfriend , I guess because i've become way too accustomed to being alone, that I don't need all that attention from a guy...I can go days without seeing the guy I'm with. I would never tie someone down, or go through there business ...I mean isn't a relationship based on trust? I'm not going to get all physco on him just because hes now my "boyfriend". I would give him the same respect and space I would want back. But guys just don't get that , they see it as there lives are over after getting a girlfriend. Maybe because most girls make it seem that way, I don't know. Which leads me to ...the reason why I'm such a bitch with men. LOL. I admit I can come off very stand offish , and I am harsh ...but very truthful ( the truth hurts ! ). But its because of the way guys carry themselves ... I act like that because two can play that game. So until they grow up , that's when I will take them serious & get off my bitch mode.

aww <3

Butterflies in your tummy are so undeniable, its like you know when u have them and when they just aren't going away. I haven't had butterflies in my tummy since like senior year in High School, LOL. && I'm 22 ...so YES that was pretty damn long ago. No one has been able to move me in that way yet, Ive met guys that I've liked ....but it was never that nervous sweaty palm feeling , OMG what am I going to wear ...I love coming home and smelling like him type of feeling. But ooh man do I miss that feeling SO damn much. I think thats got to be one of the most amazing feelings ever , because you start feeling like a little kid again. When your dialing his number and your heart starts racing when you hear the ringing...and then when he picks up you smile right away. Better yet , when you think about what your going to say and write down things you can speak to him about before you make the call so it doesn't get all awkward, LMAO. THAT'S how I know I really like someone. I haven't done any of those shenanigans in yearsss. I want to though ... I'm scared to fall in love , but at the same time id love to experience it again with the right person that is. My time will come again I'm sure of that. Ill patiently wait though :)

random blogging.

saw this on ♥lipgloss86 page.... so since im bored might as well ---

Mood: pretty darn good -- i love this weather && im content :)
First words out of my mouth this morning: I dont wanna wake uppp yet.
What I’m looking forward to this week: the weekend ! <3
One thing I’d like to improve about myself: enjoying life more , being less cautious about stuff && people.
On my makeup lust list: so much - but more so HK MAC ; i want it all.
Last dream I can remember: oh em gee -- i woke up today shocked. my parents were back together and they were getting ready to shower together?? wtfff ? lol. && then it changed to me going to my ex boyfriends house ( which btw he lived in a mansion now lmao ) and i knocked on his door , and when i saw a girl inside from the window i ran .....really? lmao.
Cheeks and lips: covergirl pretty in pink blush && lips are shinylicious mabyeline strawberry tart.
Outfit: white tee/ black vest/ skinny jeans/black boots.
Fragrance: glow by jlo
Weekly goals: to just be happy && have fun ...&& get some studying done during that lol, ACE my exam tommorow like ive been doing lately :) so proud.


OMG so my brother just told me that he seen the weather channel and in NYC its going to be lovellllly this weekend --- in the high 70s to 80s .....im so hyped about that !

lets go mets !

Im here in my room , watching the Mets game while eating my pizza hut. Damn I'm a fat ass! LOL. But then I remembered I went to a Mets game on Thursday && have not posted up any pictures or wrote about it . REALLY, it was amazing. I love going to Mets games because the fans are just insane. LOL. But the new stadium is bomb, like really the whole stadium looks so different, so new. It has so many new things ..and yes things have gotten pretttty expensive but all in all the experience was worth it. I enjoyed it even if the Mets did not win. It was so close though, they ended up hitting a home run at the bottom of the 8th..which made the score 6 to 5 ...We were all anticipating another home run right at the bottom of the 9th for them to win the game, but sadly it didn't go down that way. LOL. I am deff going back though for sure. The day after my birthday ( May 30th ) they have " Take HER out to the ballgame " So I will be all up in there, plus on July 1st I think it is they have Build a Bear day ....every first 20,000 fans gets a free build a bear .....SO I'm in there. Here are some pictures & vids :) Enjoy.

tagged; check if i tagged you !

I was tagged by MiSs RiNNiE to do this survey, thankyou hun :) Enjoy && check at the bottom if you have been tagged :)



What is your current obsession?
magazines -- i am a subscriber to nylon , teen vogue, cosmo girl, cosmopolitan, elle, allure, seventeen, us weekly, && marie claire . =X lol.

What is your weirdest obsession?
hmm -- hello kitty stuff , i guess since im about to be 22 soon lol

What are you wearing today?
right now im wearing and H&M plaid shirt ; skinny jeans, flats.

What’s for dinner today?
pizza hut , cus our mom promised from last week lmao.

What would make today special?
today is special, every day is because God let me live it :)

What would you like to learn to do?
make my own clothes, i would deff have to agree with you miss rinnie !

What’s the last thing you bought?
yesterday -- i bought the US weekly && banana milkshake

What are you listening to right now?
Exxxes - Joe Budden

What is your favourite weather?
I like spring -- when its like 70-80 outside. But summer is gunna be bomb this year i cannot wait :)

What is your most challenging goal right now?
uhmm -- stick to one job. lol. i change my jobs every two months or so. =/

What do you think about the person who tagged you?
shes cool -- i love her blogs :) there very unique.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
i love NY way too much , so id have to say a nice quiet place up in Long Island , or Conneticuit

What would you like to have in your hands right now?
a zillion dollars, lol.

What would you like to get rid of?
all negativity && violence in the world

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Florida to see my family <3

Which language do you want to learn?
Italian ...which im currently working on right now.

What do you look for in a friend?
loyalty && someone really trustworthy that doesnt sugar coat shit , i need some one real -- thats a hard thing to find.

Who do you want to meet in person?
Jessica Alba && Ed Westwick, yumm. LOL

What’s your favourite type of music?
I listen to it alllll , but my MOST favorite would have to be r&b

What is your favourite piece of clothing you own?
thats tough -- id have to say my VS sweats & hoodies ... there just so damn comfy.

What is your dream job?
A Elementary School Teacher/ Sunday School teacher/ Well Known Author.

Any favourite models?
Nope ... I really never been into the whole model thing , I dont know much names lol or keep up with it .

If you had £100 now what would you spend it on?
clothes,shoes,bags --- even tho i know it shud be spent on more important things i cant help it =X

Favourite designer?
Betsy Johnson

Fashion pet peeve?
bell bottom pants --- there not cute to me any more, at all. eww. lol.

Do you admire anyone’s style?
i love how lauren conrad; jessica alba; rihanna; and leighton meester dress.

Describe your personal style
I think im pretty casual , for regular days . but id rather be in heels/pumps then in flats or sneakers. I also lovvvvve chunky jewlery if its big earrings , big rings, a lot of necklaces. im verrry girly i guess.

Okay, here's the rules:

1. Respond and rework: answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

2. Tag eight other people.

ok sooo I tag ---


1.Maggie uson from Honey Bunny
2.Stephie J from There are other people out there who feel as we do, live as we do, love as we do.
3.Rai from La.Morena
4.tiff from BighairBiggerlashes
5.Caro Babyy from YO!Caroline
6.Little Miss Knobody from Music. Love. Heartaches & Headaches.
7.MiiNd 0f --->Fř£Sh pŘîNÇëSš™
8.MAi from SiMPLYxMAi

Movie Night.

Today I had Movie Night with my family ....We watched Click. One of my favorite movies ever. Seriously it makes me laugh and cry at the same time no matter how many times I see it. The movie really makes you think, and analyze your life a lot. Makes you realize that we give too much time for things that don't really make us happy, we put effort in less important things without realizing it can ruin better things we care for more. This movie is a real eye opener , I just hope more people would watch it and see the impact the love for money can do and really hurt your life. I am a " get money " person ..i love money && yes you cant live without it ....but there is SO much more to life. I know a lotttttt of people that think money will fix everything in there lives and that's there main priority, and they drop people if they are getting in the way of it all. It sucks ..because I know those people wont be happy at the end of there days. But people learn from experience..and that is what the movie shows. If you have not watched it yet, I suggest you do. Adam Sandler is amazing in this movie && secretly I have a crush on Kate Beckinsale LOL.