4.01.2009

growing some balls!

I'm done ; I'm over it for real this time. I have been nothing but nice to this damn kid for five years of utter pain && disrespect. No matter what he does or says I have stayed and supported his ass, now its done .. I'm done being the "nice girl" the "bigger person". I'm cutting him off , completely from my life ..no Hi's no nothing.

I haven't loved him already for about a year .. yet Ive been fighting for a FRIENDSHIP with him ..wtf? why? Hes quick to call me a bitch a groupie a slut ....ETC. DO I REALLY want to be friends with someone like that? I must have been on drugs this whole time. He puts me down like NO ONE has ever put me down , he has made me cry more than any guy has EVER made me cry in my life ...thats SERIOUS.

I was being really stupid before thinking I was going to gain something out of still being around for him and being "caring" but shits not fair when your being taken for granted, and he sees it as weakness. No more phone calls , IMs, texting, emails, nothing at all. I blocked him from absolutely everything.

I would change my number , but fuck that ..give him that much importance. NOPE. Let him call and apologize or w.e the fuck he wants ..and let him see for himself that I will not answer to anything at all.

_" I'm gone- I'm not phased; Ill walk these roads with grace & ill wave at you behind me with a new smile on my face. I'm walking in new shoes now, I got a new song to sing. When I walk in the room every head turns ..every eye is on me. TOO bad your not here to see it; but by the time you get this ill be so long gone && far -- ill send you a postcard :) You seen a ghost? this is not your lady -- this is the chick that YOU held back. All of the things you said was crazy ..I checked off my list && i feel good about it . I got that new hair cut ; the one you said wouldn't look no good ; took that job you said I could not get ; wore that dress you said id never fit in -- cus your gone && I'm great ; I got rid of your dead weight !"_


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5 showing love:

Caroline de Araujo said...

awh, well I don't know the situation but I'm glad you're letting this go :) dudes like that are no goOd. trust me I know, I had one -_- he was wiggity wack, lol, but it took me forever to see that. well good for you tho :) & that poem on the bottom is maddd cute!

Stephie J said...

fuck ya!! Show him what you're made of!!! He doesnt even come close to treating you the way you deserve to be treated!!! Calling you all those names. My boyfriend got slapped once when he called me a dumb whore.. and i called him out on it in front of ALL of his friends. he was embaressed and NEVER did it again!!

MEN ARE SO DUMB!! You're so smart to get rid of him!

stephyy said...

I congratulate you! lol and you know what I think I need to do the same, I need to grow some balls too bc seriously enough is enough!! ty :D I got my little push lol

gor(jess). said...

thank you girlls <3
it was tough , but ima do it .

i think im much stronger now to keep it going && not fail myself.

stephy ill help you ; we can do it together :)

Tashia said...

I'm proud of you girl!
I went through something very similar to your experience, but the only difference is.. I was lucky enough to see it coming before it got worse.

Trust me it's gonna be hard at first. You might think about the memories. Good and Bad. You might wanna go back to what's "comfortable" or what you're "used to." OR you might even hold strong resentments against him.. But hun, one of your goals should be to try and let it all go. Let go of the need to prove yourself to him and naturally become BETTER than him. Take care sweetie!