For my Friends; Family; Ex Friends; Long lost acquaintances ....
When I start feeling weak & real sick - I get really paranoid. Right now I have a slight fever & cant sleep because my chest feels real tight & my heart beat is racing for no reason at all. This feeling sucks ; especially when it is one that constantly keeps me up at night. Guess that means its time for another doctor visit. I feel like I live in that darn place.
When I feel like this ; I admit I hit up a lot of people I haven't given much attention to ; just to see how they are - & if they are okay. I think about how things will be if God forbid it is my last time being able to text or call them. If its the last time I will hug my little brother. So I cherish it all , and appreciate every phone call more when I feel this way. But I dont want to do that just when I get paranoid. I want to do it on daily basis ; & I should. Because my days are not promised.
So this blog is to say - I may not speak to you all the time ; every week or so - but I think of you ; and I pray for you - & you all have a very special part in my heart.
What bothers me the most is not that I will die soon ; but what others will feel when I do pass. Im scared many will regret things they did not say or do ....or feel they cannot go on & that is something I do not want for anyone in my life...I want them to know they were all they could be ; and they were very much appreciated by me; even if they forgot about me for a little. That is what unconditional love is ♥
You have all impacted me ; inspired me ; && made me feel alive. So for that I thank you - I love you ALL :) Goodnight !